Kelly's Blog | Kelly Neff Speaks

May 25, 2020
4 min

Climbing Higher

It was wonderful to wake up to beautiful blue skies and sunshine this morning. My normal behavior on a day like today would be to pull the covers back over my head and stay in bed, but that was not the case this morning. Today marks two years since losing Randy. It is a sad day indeed, one that could send me tumbling right back down the mountain I am working so hard to climb. Today is very different than this date last year. There is more to it than just being distanced from

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Kelly Neff

May 1, 2020
3 min

30-Day Better Mind & Body Challenge

Are you way past ready for Covid19 to be over? Are you going stir crazy or wondering if you have early on-set dementia because you can't remember what day it is, let alone the date? Then join me for this 30-DAY Better Mind & Body Challenge! Click the link to join the group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/BetterMindBodyChallenge/ I am starting today, May 1st because something needs to change. There are many things in life we cannot control right now, so we have to focus on wh

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Kelly Neff

Jan 15, 2020
2 min

When Darkness Invades My Soul

When darkness invades my soul Pain permeates every fiber of my being Can I ever be made whole? It seems impossible to recover from this crushing blow I cry and weep and mourn what is lost It haunts every waking moment, like a never-ending nightmare, it seizes me, and won't let go I run from it, trying to escape it and be free But it chases me and hunts me down Then it drags me back, locks me up, and holds me in captivity How can I escape this prison? Oh, where is the key? I a

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Kelly Neff

Nov 12, 2019
1 min

Seasons

The intense colors of autumn have been spectacular this year! As the leaves are falling and the brilliant hues are fading away, we are left with barren trees and a colorless landscape. Today we suddenly find ourselves covered in a blanket of snow and ice, with temperatures that make you shiver. It is a reminder of how quickly things can change, but also that seasons only last for a time. So it is with life... Dear friend, if you suddenly find yourself in a difficult season of

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Kelly Neff

Nov 5, 2019
2 min

29 Years

It is hard to believe that Friday, November 8th, 2019, would be Tommy’s twenty-ninth birthday. It is even harder to believe that this will be the ninth birthday without him. Contrary to popular belief, it doesn't get any easier with each year that passes. Every year I still bake his favorite cake and we light candles and sing happy birthday to him. This tradition may seem odd to some people, but for me, it is an opportunity to actively do something for him. It is a small way

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Kelly Neff

Oct 29, 2019
3 min

The Mask

It's the time for fall harvest, colorful autumn leaves, fresh apple cider, pumpkin picking, candy, and costumes. I have loved dressing up in costume since I was a little girl. My creativity and imagination are always stirred when I get to choose who or what I want to dress up as, and then create a costume to bring it to life. I've never been a big fan of off-the-rack costumes. I love the adventure of going to thrift stores to find items that I can use to create costumes that

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Kelly Neff

Oct 22, 2019
1 min

Isolation or Protection?

Whether we are dealing with disappointment, dashed hopes, deep despair, or the darkness of depression, our human tendency is to withdraw from God and those around us in times of difficulty. We often retreat inwardly, much like the box turtle does when a predator draws near. When a box turtle senses danger, it pulls its legs, tail, and head into its shell for protection until the threat is gone. Many times, we instinctively use what appears to be a similar defense mechanism wh

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Kelly Neff

Oct 15, 2019
3 min

Control… I WANT IT NOW!

Every morning when I wake up, and every night when I lie down to sleep, I am keenly aware of my strong desire to control my life circumstances. I am also fully cognizant that some things are just plain out of my control. Uncertainty leaves me feeling powerless, and it drives me crazy! Sometimes I get chest pains from anxiety. My stomach feels queasy, my breathing is shallow, at times I feel lightheaded, and numbness grips my entire body. On the inside, my emotions are like an

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Kelly Neff

Oct 9, 2019
4 min

Boundaries

Yesterday I came face to face with another lie that I've believed my entire life. I was first confronted with it almost twenty years ago when my counselor told me I must learn to set boundaries in my relationships. She explained that healthy relationships exist when there are clear boundary lines. I've only been brave enough to enter the boxing ring and duke it out with this lie occasionally. When I have mustered the courage to have a face-off and enforce healthy boundaries,

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Kelly Neff

Oct 1, 2019
3 min

Just As We Are…

I was blessed to spend time with a dear friend on Sunday afternoon. She's the kind of friend that you can be real with and share your hurts, your struggles, and your deepest fears, and she still loves you. As it turns out, we're both struggling with debilitating doubts, insecurities, and fears. We are both in a place where we are being asked to lead others, but neither of us feels ready or capable to carry out that responsibility. Each of us shared that the reason we don't fe

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Kelly Neff

Sep 24, 2019
3 min

GET MOVING!

Maybe you're like me and you have been waiting your entire life for things to change. Well, I don't know about you, but I finally got tired of waiting because I wasn’t getting anywhere, and I decided to get moving because life is short. The fear of never knowing if I could, began to outweigh the fear of failing. I decided it was worth the risk to take a few baby steps and see what would happen. A little over two years ago I began taking those small steps and that's when every

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Kelly Neff

Sep 17, 2019
2 min

It's Just the Tip of the Iceberg

September is National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. After losing my oldest son, Tommy, to suicide 8 years ago this is a topic that will be close to my heart for the rest of my life. Much progress has been made through the efforts of suicide prevention and awareness programs and I know this has saved lives, but we still have a long voyage ahead of us. There is still a stigma with mental health issues today and we have much work to do on our mental health care system. I b

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Kelly Neff

Sep 10, 2019
3 min

Boiling Water

The last two weeks have been exhausting. I am always amazed at the power of our emotions. They can zap your energy like a bad alternator depletes a car battery, leaving you immobilized. It is very easy to get sucked into the darkness of grief and allow depression to slither in like a boa constrictor ambushing its prey. It would be easy to allow it to swallow me whole. It would be easy to stay in bed and pull the covers over my head. It would be easy to leave all the blinds cl

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Kelly Neff

Sep 3, 2019
3 min

SMOOTH SAILING?

I get very frustrated, even angry when I hear well-meaning people use scripture verses to support the idea that living to the best of your ability plus trusting God equals smooth sailing, like it's a math equation. Is that really God's message to us? Does He really say, that if we live to the best of our ability and we trust Him, He will magically make everything in our lives all roses? SPOILER ALERT : Y’all, if that is what you've been led to believe, then what I'm about to

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Kelly Neff

Aug 27, 2019
2 min

#RandyNeffStories

Friday, August 30th, would be Randy's 62nd birthday. As the day is drawing near, sadness is creeping into my heart with thoughts of all the things that we will never get to do together. When these thoughts begin to swirl in my head, I feel dizzy and lightheaded. Then I realize I am doing it again… I am holding my breath. It isn't something I do consciously. It just happens. I don't know if it is a common symptom of grief or anxiety, or maybe both, but I have found myself doin

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Kelly Neff

Aug 20, 2019
4 min

The Death Zone - One Step at a Time

I am still trying to soak in the wealth of wisdom and the personal growth challenges I received at the Global Leadership Summit earlier this month. It is easy to be inspired by someone who has overcome immense hurdles and persevered against all odds, and even human reason, at times. The difficult part is taking the seeds of inspiration and planting them, so they take root and blossom into life-changing personal transformation. When Bear Grylls, of Man vs. Wild fame, shared hi

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The Voice of Healing – What is Your Body Telling You?

Kelly Neff

Aug 13, 2019
3 min

The Voice of Healing – What is Your Body Telling You?

Last week I began to have an overwhelmingly anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach, and I haven't been able to shake it. It feels sort of like a combination of too much sugar, caffeine, and adrenaline all rolled into one, except I haven’t gone overboard on any of those lately. It has kept me awake into the wee hours of the last four nights. Amazingly, our bodies have the ability to be aware of and process life before our minds even recognize what's going on. So, what has be

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Kelly Neff

Aug 6, 2019
2 min

There are No Words…

When horrific tragedies like the shooting in the Oregon District occur… There are no words that can explain why. There are no words that can ease the pain of those who lost loved ones. There are no words that can erase the trauma of those who were present. We search for words to make sense of the senseless, to no avail. We search for words that will move us, as a nation, to action in hopes that we can prevent another tragedy from occurring. I have struggled to write this week

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Kelly Neff

Jul 30, 2019
3 min

Where Are You Rooted?

I love beautiful landscaping. It adds beauty and character to a home. Designing great landscaping requires a bit of artistic creativity, as well as knowledge of flowers, plants, trees, and bushes. Having a vision of what you want it to look like once it grows and matures isn’t enough, you must also have knowledge and understanding of the area you're working on. How much sun exposure does it get? Is the soil fertile and rich with nutrients? Are there nearby shrubs or trees tha

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Kelly Neff

Jul 23, 2019
2 min

Coming Home

One thing I have learned as I have walked through the loss of my son and my husband is that everyone grieves differently. I don’t believe there is a correct way to grieve. Grieving is a process, which implies movement. It is easy to get stuck and become trapped along the way. Moving forward has challenges. Sometimes those challenges feel like a prison. An annual vacation has been part of my life since I met my husband. It was something he grew up doing and he felt it was an i

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KELLY NEFF SPEAKS