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  • Writer's pictureKelly Neff

G.R.I.E.F ~ Taking Back Stolen Territory

Updated: Jun 11, 2019

Kelly Neff Speaks - Tuesday Treasures - GRIEF-Taking Back Stolen Territory 6-4-19

It is not possible to go through life without experiencing loss in some form. Every one of us will come face-to-face with grief at some point in our life. Loss and pain are inevitable. The only thing in question is what we will choose to do with the grief.

Loss can come in many forms, some more devastating than others. Some are temporary, some are permanent.

It reminds me of the areas impacted by the recent tornadoes. When you look at the path a tornado takes you see some homes that escaped with only minor damage, while others nearby were completely demolished. Both experienced loss and both will likely never forget the events of that night. Both will face the repairing or rebuilding of their homes and their lives. The fear, pain, and emotions left in the wake of the storm will be similar for both, although the amount of restoration necessary may vary greatly.

My family and I are still trying to rebuild after the tornado of cancer swept Randy away last May. The images I have seen of homes that now lie in a heap of rubble are visual representations of what I still feel like inside my heart. The reality is that the pain and emotions of grief are difficult whether the damage is minor or complete devastation.

For anyone who is dealing with grief, whether it is temporary or permanent, minor or complete devastation, we all have a choice. We can allow grief to overtake us and remain broken and lying in a heap of rubble or we can choose to repair and rebuild our lives.

I’m choosing to look at grief in this way… I can allow it to paralyze me or I can use it to Grow.

Experiencing loss always reminds us to Re-evaluate what really matters most in life. It gives us the opportunity to Identify our priorities and areas we want to improve.

We can run from the pain and be trapped like a prisoner by it or we can Engage the pain and battle it as we walk through it.

Walking through it brings healing. There will always be residual pain, but you will master it instead of it ruling over you. Ultimately you may Find purpose in your pain by helping others who are experiencing loss similar to yours.

Purpose in your pain? Really? She must be joking, right?

Nope, no joke!

There is healing to be found when you use your pain to help someone else. There is really nothing quite like it.

Trust me, it isn’t all rosy and honestly, it is incredibly difficult at first, but the more you do it, the more freedom you gain. It’s like reclaiming territory that has been ripped from you by a ruthless enemy. It is like giving a death blow to a merciless enemy that captures, imprisons, and tortures you endlessly.

Stop running from your pain and turn around and face it head on today. It may not be anything you would have ever chosen for your life, but finding purpose in your pain will ultimately set you free my friend. I promise!

Healing is a process that takes place with each step that you take. Take courage, you will get stronger with each step you can muster the strength to take! Don’t worry about how fast you can go or how far, just don’t stop taking steps!

May you begin taking steps through your pain today dear one! May peace be with you.



Reevaluate what matters most

Identify priorities

Engage the pain

Find purpose

“For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up. A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance. A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones. A time to embrace and a time to turn away. A time to search and a time to quit searching. A time to keep and a time to throw away. A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak. A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace.”

‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭3:1-8‬ ‭NLT‬‬

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