Friday, August 30th, would be Randy's 62nd birthday. As the day is drawing near, sadness is creeping into my heart with thoughts of all the things that we will never get to do together. When these thoughts begin to swirl in my head, I feel dizzy and lightheaded. Then I realize I am doing it again… I am holding my breath.
It isn't something I do consciously. It just happens. I don't know if it is a common symptom of grief or anxiety, or maybe both, but I have found myself doing it many times a day, every day, for the last nineteen months. I realize I am doing it again when a tight feeling grips my throat, almost like I am being strangled by an invisible intruder. That feeling is uncomfortable and irritating, but it is a signal to me that I need to breathe and refocus my mind on good things. Instead of dwelling on the things I won't get to experience with Randy by my side, I am reminding myself of the things I do have because of knowing him.
I learned so many things from him and I would not be the person I am today if I never knew him. So, as his birthday approaches, I am continually shifting my thoughts to all of the amazingness he brought to my life.
I don’t know if he ever entered a room quietly. He was loud, boisterous, and didn't know how to whisper. He told the corniest jokes, he was the most stubborn person I have ever known, and he never hesitated to tell you how he felt about things. He could ruffle your feathers with his gruff tone, but he was a teddy bear at heart. He touched many lives in positive ways.
I want to celebrate his life on his birthday. So, for those of you who knew him, if you have a memory to share, please do! #RandyNeffStories
Blessings to you all!
Happy Birthday Randy💗